Mothers are often too hard on themselves. They set very impossibly high standards on themselves and when they cannot meet those standards they feel terribly guilty. This breeds uncertainty and doubts. And this generates negativity. As a result, mothers end up feeling anxious and depressed. A bit of self-criticism is good for every individual because it helps us improve and become better versions of ourselves. But if you are overly critical and doubting everything you do, then you will cripple yourself psychologically. As it is motherhood is the toughest and most responsible job out there, and all that pessimism makes things even harder for moms. That is why we have compiled a list of things mothers can do to uplift themselves.
1. Make a list of everything you have achieved
This is the most effective strategy to boost your morale. In the midst of all the self-doubting, mothers often forget all the highs they have achieved. So as a mother remind yourself of all your successes. Remember the time you were able to wean your child off a bad habit? Or when you inculcated a valuable skill in him/her. Remember when you trained her in badminton and she won the championship? Or how you helped him with his homework and he scored an A+? Be proud of yourself because despite all your hundreds of other responsibilities you are spending quality time with your child and raising a human being. A few failures can’t take away the victories. Give yourself some credit because nobody deserves it more than you.
2. Remember you’re not alone
Feeling like you are the only one failing can make you feel even more depressed. All mothers struggle with the mammoth task of rearing children. They all face unique challenges. Everyone wins a few battles and loses the others. So do not go by appearances, even if you think your peers appear like perfect mothers, know that they are all struggling. Life itself is a struggle.
3. Get to the source
Sometimes the challenges of motherhood feel overwhelming. But usually, problems arise from just one source. Have you come across someone who claimed that you are failing as a mother? Is it because your child is rude and disobedient? Is he/she underperforming and you are pinning the blame on yourself?
Firstly, you need to accept that you cannot please everyone and you really shouldn’t even try. What others think about you does not affect you in any way.
But if the problem is how your child is behaving, or his/her performance in exams or sports, then it will help to address the issue so that it does not continue. Find out how you can solve the problems. It will benefit your child and boost your morale.
4. Take up a hobby
Sometimes obsessing over you so-called failing can make you feel even more miserable. And nothing works better to uplift your morale than a distraction. Sometimes, you need some me-time away from the numerous duties of motherhood. This isn’t selfish, this is a coping mechanism. You don’t have to spend every waking hour with your child, it is not good for you or your child’s psyche.
So, do something you love. Take a nature walk, go to the movies, the library, play a round of golf, bake something, or meditate. Your favourite activity will release happiness hormones inside you which will instantly boost your confidence and self-worth.
5. Don’t hang around negative people
There are negative thinking people everywhere who love to point out your errors. Toxic people are baggage that you do not need in your life. If they are your friends, then do not be friends with them because real friends are supposed to hold each other up and not make you feel insecure. If it is someone in your family, limit your interactions with this person.
Negativity is contagious. Do not be around people who will make you doubt your capabilities as a mother or question your worth.
6. Be around decent people
Instead of toxic people surround yourself with people who will enrich you emotionally. These people can be your safe-place or your protective circle. When you are feeling low and you think that you are failing as a mother, they will cheer you up and help you get over your anxieties.
Being a mother is just as challenging as it is blissful. Do not be too critical of yourself. Motherhood is not about success or failure, or rather it is about doing the best you can. And since you are doing that, let go of all your doubts and insecurities and simply enjoy the moment.